I am not the only one
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Rianti Dwiastuti.
16 years old.
Taken and in love.

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new lenses : FISHEYE! Zoom! Wideangle! Micro! :)
new phone : T-Mobile G1 :D
new iPod : iPod Classic 120GB
new camera : Polaroid! Complete Package! Glow!

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Adani Nurimanina Kusmayadi
Adri Andika Kumara
Alyssa Adya
Anizabella Lesmana
Deandra Armyni Hasan
Dyah Ayu Asmarani
Ghina Adiyarianni
Icha Anissa
Ilham Putra
Jeje Aranda
Kartika Diva Asriani Suradi
Nadya Eldhindra
Najwa Assilmi
Nizma Samara Arifin
Ramanda Andrian
Syazka Kirani Narindra
Tania Ferbrianti Winanto
Thalita Nafitia Hiramsyah
Vienda Fadillah Fahmy
Wintriana Januarti

Archive!

February 2008
June 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009, 19:05
May I Ask A Time of Yours?

people!
attention!
please listen to me!
stop ask!


it is not
that i don't want
to be
heard



but i just
don't want
a scene


i
am
not
right




that is why
i choose
to
left


i may have
a
future


and in second
i can
lose it


i am not
holding tight
to anything
anyone



i try
to be
independent


i want a
help



but now
is the
most wrong
time


i have this
puzzle that
i can
not resolve



it is not that
i am
stupid


somehow i choose
to let it
be


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Saturday, May 23, 2009, 20:15
Crap

friends were complaining
friends is writing
i am me
i am an locked black box




i don't choose to be this
but i'm not saying i don't want to be one
it is a secret
some people know
and they don't really care







do i care?









it's not about friendship
neither about relationship
it's just a truth
of a real person






i maybe not be dangerous
but i will
because i was
and i can't predict it












i am not talking a bout a game
nor a lie
a truth i have been keeping
i have not resolved




i don't say i enjoy it
but i must
i breathe, eat, sleep
i live with it











you may thing i am a joke
just a drama queen
my life yes is a drama
and i am the main actress









i am not getting paid
i get no advantage
but i'm not saying that i am the victim
and i am not the controller






this is a roller coaster
but you will not puke
dizzy will not come to you
it does not even amazed you











this is not an entertainment
never a story
maybe a history
but sure it is a life









been fighting so i don't have to take medicine
so the world don't have to find out
that i am an ill
i need to be alienated











maybe i don't want to
but i have made some victims
eight are down
how many more?











one is dying
trying so hard to stay
i am not pushing away
and i don't want to











but somehow i am sure
i will hurt more
i don't want to continue
do i need to self-destruct (again)?











will people mourn then?
will they be lost?
will someone cry?
i will not bet














will there be an ending of this writing?
i am not sure
i can write more and more
without thinking












completely the same with my life
i can't find an ending
maybe i am not searching
because there's no point in it

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Monday, October 6, 2008, 01:07
Fail to Sleep

01:06

aaaaaaarrrgh i just can't go to sleep! my mind is still too racy rrrgh fuck it! i need something to make me go to bed, ASAP! blahblahblah i don't wanna lose him :( yea, i say it, i just can't.. oh meen, what's wrong with meeee?? is this have something to do with his dream and Maroon 5 - Nothing Last Forever? godgodgod, please no :( surely, he's not that nice, no way a person can be so perfect. have i mention that he's changed? i hate our phone calls lately, dit :| they are all disappointing and hurting.. there are three phone calls i think, and the last one, completely breaks my heart.. i know you were sleepy and tired, but that was not how we used to end our conversation, no sweet dream blablabla, no i love you, no the usual you :( so sorry, if i'm questioning where are we now, because just in a snap of fingers, you've changed. God tell me, am i dreaming?

It's you who promised me not be a disappointment
but tonight, you're a big one :'(

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01:02
Troubled

uurrgh what's wrong with me? it's 01:02 in the morning and my eyes are still too swollen so it hurts rrgh :( Oh gosshhhh, i don't know why i wrote that thingy before.. too much pain? rrgh i don't know! well, my love life isn't that nice actually right now, kinda bumpy i know! but that.. it was just too much, or it's not? aaargh i really need to go to sleep huff he disappointed me.. in some ways hmmnyahnyahnyah but i know i disappoint him too..


maaf dit, tapi aku main kaca lagi.
aku ga tahan, capek :(

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Sunday, September 7, 2008, 15:57
Late Night

haaaaaaaaaaaaaay everybody! once again, i'm way sooooo over the moon baby! whywhywhy? hmmm i had this sweet phone call with my darl hihihi :) how long? three hours! yeaa for real! hahaha start at around 00:00 until 03:00 woohoo what a record nyahahaha because all i know is he easily feels sleepy, but last night he said he's still doing fine hahahaha well, we talked about everrrrything, nah not that everything but at least we talked about so many things nyahahahaha hmmmmmmm oh gosh, i miss his voice already! aaaaargh like thousand times he told me that he missed me and surely i felt the same way for himmm unyunyunyu aaaannnd, for the first time he said aku sayang kamu aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa he has written it like everyday in his texts but i've never heard he said those three words before! my God, my heart pounded sososooooo fast uuurgh i love you too, diiiit! muchmuchmuch awaw hihi :)

and rrrrright now, i'm dying once more ngahahaha kid! but yea, i feel so terrible right now because i really need to hear his voice hmmmmmm i can just call him, but nahhh i'm so fucked up with phone calls, i want him rrright beside me nownownow! supppeeerrrr ASAP hahhhhh thank God tomorrow is school day, yea fuck with the school thingy, but at least i can meet him, rrright? hunyuuuuu i miss his touch aaaaaa the way he rubs my hair, my chicks, my hand aaaaaaa i miss it soooo bad! i wish i can hug him right now, right here! and ow yea, i wanna play his chicks! hihihi he has this kinda weird chicks, it's sooo flabby ngahahaha that's why i call him jelly chicks hihihi aaaaa i miss him completely, nothing not to be missed from him! and yea, i wanna tickle him hahaha he is sooooo ticklish, like at every part of his body hahaha his waist, his back, his neck, and even his palms! hahahaha but heeeey, that's how i love him :)

goshgoshgosh i need to get out of here fast, or i'll write nothing but crappy swearing hahahha i miss him 100% uuurrrrgh i hate how this missing feeling biting my mind urrrrgh well, at least i'm texting him right now hihihi way not so satisfied, but hey, at least i can still chit-chat with him, rrright? so that's ittt, i'll be too busy texting him again hahahahaha bye! :)

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Saturday, September 6, 2008, 09:34
Love is in the Air

whoaa it's an early day in September and i have things in my thoughts huff so tiring :( but fuck it up, yeaaaah haahahha i've been fasting for about six days and somewhat i'm doing fine. errr so here's the thing, yesterday i got my first mood swings since so long time ago and i handled it way so bad aaaaargh fuckfuckfuck i cried, yea i cried like two or three times or maybe more than that aaargh! why? i don't really know exactly, but i think i know. well this suddenly changing in my relationship status somehow is the trigger. whywhywhy oh why God? hmm i can't truly explain it, but i'm pretty sure that's the itsy bitsy thingy.

bbbbbut! suddenly, my superguy save me out of the blue yeaaaa! oh God, i'm soooo in love with my hubby baby hihihi :) he called me around ten and yea, with just a snap of fingers my mood is up up and away again yaaaay! just to hear his calming voice made me feel sooooo chill out hahahaha well, we talked about things, several not-so-important things but i was glad that that small things could change my mood hehehe but eng ing eng, suddenly he felt sleepy ngahahaha so i said "go ahead, have some sleep" but then he saiiiiid "nah, later on. i still miss you.." wohhh no doubt, i flew to the seventh sky wusssshhh awwwww goshgoshgosh glad he's mine! aaaaargh i miss him now! okay, back to the thingy, after that we still chit-chatted for a while than he went to sleep for real. but it's oh so him to still send me texts saying goodnight and else, whatever it was, i loved it hahahahaha OMG, is there someone else better for me than him? i doubt it now hihihi

and tooooooooooooooooooday, i'm dying! well, i just hyperbolized it, but yeaaa i'm dying to meet him ASAP, well maybe just his voice that i can listen to is okay, but i want himmmm now beside me :( oh please dear, God! hufff well, at least there's a good thing, he misses me too! hihihi i'm no a psychic, he just told me in his texts :D oh God, i wish i can meet him nowww! oh i'm so in the need of teleport machine uuuuu fuckfuckfuck! hmm sorry guys, but i want to get out of this blog now hahahah i'll be too busy texting adit hihihi bye! :)

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 17:27
L.O.V.E

whoaaa you gotta be kidding me that june 18th was the last time i posted! woops, so sorry beibs! hahaha i really have a lot of things to write nooooow! seriously! lots of thing have changed in my life that changes my day yeaaaah

so now i'm a high schooler! yeaaa hahahah nothing to great about it, untiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil i found someone special yeaaaah hahahaha oh god, i'm so over the moon right now! yesyesyes i change my status recently, i'm in a relationship agaiiin yeaaa yippie! hahahaha so so so he is my classmate and one of my good friend. well, his name is Adit and yeah, i can't be far away from him now :( going home is a hard thing to do these days hahahaha he's way soooooo nice and caring :) uuuu i fall deep for him and somehow i don't mind! the way he talks, he stares, and he holds my hand makes me soooo into him :) well, so lovely-dovey rrrrright? but nah, i don't really care hahahah he's the silver lining out of my shady sky of this three years :)

to be honest, i love every little thing he does to me :) well, nothing too serious now, and i hope nothing will be gone to far. amin. with his hands holding mine, i feel nothing but warmth and comfort. by the way he hits on me, i smile so big and love him more. oo God, thank you for your blessing by "sending" him to me :) eventhough somewhat too fast, but like i care! he's just a great guy that falls in love and fortunately, with me :) hahahaha sooooo, please pray for the best for both of us. thank you :)

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Thursday, June 12, 2008, 19:16
whoa!

whoaaaa my PC is back! yeaaa i'm so grateful! hahaha well, i'm sorry i didn't post anything yesterday. it was a bussssyyyyyyyy day! lots of things to do blablabla zz not an interesting story to tell, you know, another lameness zz well well well i have nothing to talk either right now hahaha i'm way too happy because my PC is back hahaha it's old and living, i can't be so thankful for this! hahaha how old is this PC? zz i can't even remember it zz for real, it must be more than 7 years old bahahaha i need a new new new one! how about iMac! yeaaa uu daddy, can i have one? hahahaha but i don't think so, since this one is newly repaired, so for a new thing will take a looooong time zz but i'm okay with old thingy, i'm a master in control old gadget hahahaha for real! my notebook is waaaaay much older than this! hahahaha no, kidding! but my NEC notebook is kinda pathetic hahaha at the first place, it was my dad for two or three years. than my sister would go to study abroad, so he gave it to her and he bought himself a Vaio, the mini one uuu, but like almost a year later the notebook broke so it's sent back to Jakarta to be repaired and my sistah got a new macBook aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh (a big envy! but it was called iBook back then, if i'm not mistaken) when the NEC was done repaired, my mom used it for another year. around last year, my dad bought a new notebook (again!) a Fujitsu Lifebook (another big envy aaaaaaa) so my dad gave the mini Vaio to my mom and i got the NEC blaaaaaaaaaah zz

well, enough for the notebook history, it's a big lameness right? hahahaha i had and have several used gadget, but i don't really mind actually. because it was my dad's, so everything are still in a great condition! :D well let me list the used thingy :
  1. NEC Versa s900 zz you know the history
  2. Nokia 6600 blaaah i don't used it anymore, the battery leaks hahaha but i still keep it zz
  3. XDA 02 Mini hahahaha i still use it until now, it's still great! really! but yea, the appearance is sorta a disaster now hahahaha
  4. iPod 3rd generation yeaaa isn't it cool? hahaha it's dead yawl! hahaha
  5. uurgh i forget the name but i got another two used notebook before this NEC Versa zz
  6. and yea i think i got more used things, but i forget hahahaha :D

so so so there's this thing! i wrote all of that above using my PC, but then suddenly IT'S DEAD! YEA IT'S FREAKING CRAZY DEAD! AAAAAAAARGH NO WAAAAY GOD, I FEEL LIKE A DAMNED BITCH! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE REPAIR-MAN AAAA so now i write this using my notebook again zz thanks to blogger.com who got some cool thing called "save now" hahahaha all of the writing above are saved! yeaaaaaa so let me write more! but let me move to another post, well maybe i'll post it tomorrow hahahaha i'm sorry! bbbbut, this blog post reminds me of my bitchy PC and that pissed me off hahahaha Bye!

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Sunday, February 10, 2008, 16:20
Late Weekend

tomorrow's school, means i'll rarely update this blog
it's kinda sad for me, but what can i say?
my mom and i were just finished doing crosswords
actually we're not finished, we're dead haha
got a homework tomorrow, but i'm done
because of hopelessness, about 8 numbers i can't do
now updating this blog maybe the last fun thing i do today
because going night time turns my mood bad
school things are sucks, a perfect ten
even i'll meet some rawking friends there
but still, the chores and soon-to-be-homeworks never nice
i open people.com along with writing this post
looking for some juicy gossip
but sadly, i find none
i just found one sad gossip, yeah right
about mourning Heath Ledger
because it's a sad story, i won't talk about it here
because i have my own one
my external hard disk is dead
there's one component that's broken
without my ehd, my life sucks
all of my projects, musics, and videos are there
some music that i'd just downloaded can't be moved to my notebook
so my iPod will remain so last year
well, i guess for tomorrow school will be kinda boring
better out than i have to start swearting
see ya aroung next week
well, if i'm lucky we'll meet tomorrow
Out.

Rianti.

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Saturday, February 9, 2008, 12:26
small piece

i am an indonesian
a 15-years-old girl from big town jakarta
going to private school is not a wow thing here
so don't think i'm a spoiled rich girl
i use unlimited fast speed internet in my house
so i wish i can update my blog everyday
taking pictures is one of my interest
about real life or close up is what i take
always having my iPod around to comfort me
well, even lots of time my friends use it longer than me
there are 6 friends that i treasure right now
i share laughs with them
but i like being alone most of the time
and my notebook always there for me
well, sometimes my computer
i can share everything with them
they treasure every picture i've taken,
every poem i've written,
every school project i have to do
think i'm the only child?
you're a lil bit wrong
got older sister, but she's away in netherland
actually, i rarely miss her
because none disturb in my own time
reading some books can make me sit still
a darker book a better point
or going to movies with friends or mom isn't bad
i have a dark secret
but i won't share it here
and now i have to go
Out.

Rianti.

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