balonpecah whispers

well, enough with the happy thingy and the veronicas, it's my time nnnowww! rrrgh like i told you before, i'm not in the mood rrrgh my period is coming, so the PMS thingy is really biting my mood and yea, i have the mood swings too blah :( aaaaaaaaargggghhhh i miss my adiiiit, my boyfriend :( well, it's been twelve days since the last time we met each other and four days since the last time we had our real phone calls hmmmmmmm i do need a time machine or teleport machine rrright now! i'm not lying, i miss him a lot! but actually, the PMS and mood swing just make the condition even worse rrrgh there were a little time for me to talk with him in MSN and he was soooo sweet and nice like usual, but my condition somehow disappoint him.. oh, what a disappointment i am :( what i really hate about this is i look soooo selfish and i do feel like that hmmmm can someone kill me just for a second? because in the end, it is him who feels in the wrong and that's not right! well, a lil bit actually.. he can't call me or text me because he gets no pulsa right now, i have it but i don't know if it's okay to call him in some times, i'm afraid he is busy. bbbut, today i tried to call him twice and none of it got answered! well i thought he's busy, so that's fine. but he was online later, and he told me that his phone was in silent mode and left inside his room. nyyyaaaaah, i was kinda pissed of, HAH! see, that selfish side of me must be proud rrrgh i shouldn't be mad at him, because he explained it and i know actually that there's no way he didn't answer my phone purposely, he is too kind to do that, i know he misses me too (can you see how lucky i am to have him and how bitchy i am to treat him like that?)

now, because he'll laugh and yes, i love his laughter! it does gives me smile on my face :) or maybe let him play 'catch me if you can' using our hands oh God, this guilty feeling is really biting me rrrgh i'm the bad one, he's the good one. i'm the devil, he's the angel aaaaaaargh can someone send me to him directly right now? i miss him, but what i did was something bad :( i just want to hug him for a very long period hmmmmm i do miss his touch :( i love it when his hands are on my head, rubbing my hair softly rrrrrgh i do want him now with me! can't forget how ticklish it is when he's rubbing my cheek, he told me because he's using his feeling (in other way it means 'i love you' :)) i want to tickle him rrrighthihihi it's just a silly thing we're used to play together :) so the game is like he'll hold my hand but than i'll pull my hand back, and he'll put his sad face on so i'll give my hand back but when he wants to hold it, i'll pull it back, again hahahaha well, we'll do it for a couple of time until he gets sick of it and hugs me, saying whatever, but i got you :) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh i feel it right there, when he hugs me, i feel his heartbeat, somehow like telling me that i'll be fine with him. there, in his arms, i know i am safe, i am loved :) you can see it right now, can't you? why i'm soooo in love with him :)

hmmmnyahhh, at least i want to hear his voice on the phone, his i-miss-you-too voice is something i need now and not to forget his very laughable laughter hihihi i'm so in love with the complete package oh him :) don't you know, once, i had an 8-hour-phone-call with him! crazy? yeaa, but i like it hmm nah, i lovvvveeeee it! and i'd love to have it once more :( on the phone we talk about everything, about jokes, family, even about my or his or our problems. thanks God, You send me a very understanding lover :) but mostly we talk about how much we love/miss each other, his fourteen cats and kittens, my stuffed animals, our dislikes in house lizards (mine) and cockroach (his) hahahah we even make alter egos of both of us. first one is Meng-Sapi1/Sapi2 hahahaha it's because he calls his cats with Meng, not meong or puss hahahaha weird? absolutely! the first time i know it, i laugh my butt out hahahaha i still laugh about it right now, but i'm used to it. it's kinda cute actually hihihi and why Sapi1/Sapi2? because i sleep with two stuffed cows hahahaha and the other alter ego is Adit Kecil & Ranti Kecil hihihi we pretend to be us in smaller and younger version, his version is kinda the same, but my little me is sooooo flirtatious with Adit Gede hahaha well, that's how we call ourselves, Adit Gede & Ranti Gede hahahaha kinda silly, i know! but who cares? we love it! :)

ooooooohhh, i'm getting tired writing these things here but nothing has changed, i still miss him way sooooooooo much! there are a lot other great things about him, but i don't want to share it hahahaha i don't want to envy you hihihi :P well, i can give you a little! i like the way he hold my hand so tight until i can't move, in every time i'm about to do bad thing or going to leave. by that, i know he doesn't want me to get hurt, he'll be there to take care of me :) why i'm sure about this? haven't i told you that he doesn't smoke? amazing! he even can't drink soda, so he's not a drinker, i'm so sure about that! well, i'm not a smoker either, but i drink actually hihihi so i need someone who can take care of me, someone who able to remind me, to tell me to stop, even someone who will get angry at me if i cross the line because he know it is getting too far. and i believe he can be that somebody :) aaah, see! i keep on sharing story about him, but that's fine actually, because i will not share him with anybody else, never!

huaaaaahmmm, i'm starting to feel sleepy either, i think i do really need to sign off from this post. oh God, when i go to sleep, will you send me to the world of dream where i can meet my adit there? i really do need to meet him, ASAP! rrrgh oo GodGodGod! i'm about to lose my mind, i have to go now! Bye! :)